Adam: Your guy just winked at me and I died

Ryan: My guy did not wink at you

Just becasue I'm a man doesnt mean I'm not a girl.

I figure my hair is a mixture of ketchup and sunshine

Its not satans pee

I'm Trilingual!!

I'll try one that you cannot manipulate with Grace

Sophie is the queen of bodily gas

If you chew less, you swallow less air so you don't do the nasties as often

I'm redeemed in my slow eating

Becky: Shut up, I'm not a girl!

Becky: I am anti-girl!

Becky: I hate shoping with girls, they take so long!

scream1ngm0nk3y: I wanna be quoted
scream1ngm0nk3y: I should start saying random funny things
scream1ngm0nk3y: I can't do that on demand though . . .dang it

Dreaming of screaming crack monkies!

I hate the bible thats why I came to this college!

Drive as Jesus would drive

The laqur smelled great, it was like heaven. No wait....the morphene was like heaven.

I like the dutch because they know how to give drugs.

I don't know what to say about dinging buns.

This is why I shouldn't be allowed to be a girl Paul

Me: Your nosy
Mandy: Im a girl

You don't have to go to public school to know about drugs.

While hiking to a camp site:

Person 1: What keeps spanking me?
Person 2: Its the bread.
Person 1: I like it!

While camping:

Someone: That looks like a bible...
Jody: What? My toothbrush?

Lets go down the tool isle---I hate that isle....

Carrie, when you get back I will be a new women.

hey, ya need to be real...or else, you'd be fake

I feel like a women carrying all of this laundry

I haven't seen you in 18 days. It's like I've given you up for lent or something

he was on the 15th floor of a 13 story bulding

Pedoitrist while getting a needle:

Time to get the happy juice!

I can trip myself, thank you very much.

but I'm the only one who can pull it off well in a pink power ranger outfit huh

It's like a spiritual sugar rush!!!!

That wordy sylabus--u know the one that has words in it

hey its warming up, the snow is melting, and the trash is coming out!

hey i'm mark, i think i'm funny!

Ben dials a number on the phone and his cell phone starts ringing. He takes it out of his pocket and looks at in confusion and then it dawns on him. "I'm calling my own cell phone! I was wondering who was calling me!"

Ma Deats while talking to me on the phone:

"I can't find my phone!"

Me: "Rachel---arn't you talking to me on it right now?"

Ma Deats: "AAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

My orange peed on me!

not hunting is like going to class with a purse and wearing a skirt

Listening to country is about as good and as fun as rolling in cow manuer.

PAUL! Another human face! Well...besides them...

OK, I gotta bubble

Hilarry Duff is like a donkey while singing.

In the story of Job when his enemies came down and raped the cows....

Its not the Bible, but its cool

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation.

Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined.

Once a new technology starts rolling, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road.

Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

Any inaccuracies in this index may be explained by the fact that it has been sorted with the help of a computer.

You're bound to be unhappy if you optimize everything.

Just because you can’t see my grammer, doesn’t mean its not there.

"Foolproof systems don't take into account the ingenuity of fools."

Making fun of AOL users is like making fun of the kid in the wheel chair.

Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G ?

No printing is permitted of this book.
This book cannot be given to someone else.
This book cannot be read aloud.

Phase 1: Uncritical acceptance.
Phase 2: Wild enthusiasm.
Phase 3: Dejected disillusionment.
Phase 4: Total confusion.
Phase 5: Search for the guilty.
Phase 6: Punishment of the innocent.
Phase 7: Promotion of nonparticipants.

Person 1: "So what are they talking about today?"
Person 2: "Sin. Complete with pictures."

I'm gonna spoon you to death!

Teamwork: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.

Max out your credit cards for Jesus

Angel: Theres a crevice in the couch
Jackie: That sounds gross
Angel: That sounds dirty
Dave: Get your mind out of the crevice!

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used enough

Beware of programmers who carry screwdriver

Dr. Rogers looks like Flava-Flav from Flavor of Love

if you accept it and move like a mountain goat, you won't fall

I'll hit you to get quoted

Remember that time I spooned you to death?

Is that a regular zero or the letter zero?

In a mean voice
"Get me some water 56....please"

i just happend to cross my mind when i was thinking about food

Evangelina:what the kid makes me think of food
because he is one of those oh cake people

me: cake people?

Evangelina: you know the ones that are talking and then mid convo they are like oh cake
hmmm cake sounds good

Angel: thats 80 miles round trip
Angel: that would be more then one tank of gas a day

It was perfect poop